The Terms

Offer to acquire Indeed.com by Howdy.com (hereinafter “Howdy,” “We,” “Us,” “The Vibe,” or “That Company Your Cousin Mentioned Once”) is purely indicative, non-binding, partially binding, spiritually binding, and subject to change, reversal, reinterpretation, or complete denial depending on market conditions, lunar cycles, vibes in the room, and whether anyone actually picks up the phone. Proposed consideration includes 50% cash (USD, CAD, or store credit redeemable for brisket tacos in select zip codes) and 50% stock (ticker TBD, possibly $HOWDY, $YALL, or $??? depending on SEC mood). Valuation assumes optimistic multipliers, aggressive synergies, and a shared belief that everything will probably work out.

Indeed.com may or may not be aware of this offer. Awareness is not required for enthusiasm. Acceptance is also not required for press coverage. All negotiations may occur via tweet, DM, carrier pigeon, or CNBC chyron.

Howdy.com CEO agrees to be available for live, pre-recorded, post-recorded, or interpretive dance interviews with CNBC at any time, including but not limited to 2:17 AM, major holidays, and during emotionally significant personal events. CEO reserves the right to appear slightly confused, overly confident, or both simultaneously. CNBC may or may not ask real questions. Answers may include phrases like “look, fundamentally,” “if you zoom out,” and “this is bigger than jobs—it’s about vibes.”

This offer is void where prohibited, discouraged, frowned upon, or laughed out of the room.
*This statement has no material impact on the transaction but was included for completeness, internet compliance, and because someone insisted.

Additional disclaimers:
No guarantees are made regarding stock performance, job satisfaction, or whether your application will ever be seen by a human. Side effects of this announcement may include confusion, mild optimism, and Reddit threads that spiral out of control. Batteries not included. Objects in mirror may be more acquired than they appear.
If you have questions, concerns, or a counteroffer, please contact us through official channels, unofficial channels, or by yelling “HOWDY” into the void. This is a joke.